Non-lawyers may also benefit from reading this post…
I’ve always been great at dealmaking and negotiating. When I was a teenager I negotiated many deals. Let me give you an example…
Updated 5/25/21
Everything in Life is Negotiable…
First rule is everything in life is negotiable. When I was about 15 years old, I wanted to buy a nice first stereo system, but could not afford what I wanted.
I stopped at a local stereo shop. The first thing I did was engage the salesperson and get them vested in a deal.*** I proposed a deal for a system I wanted which included:
- good quality integrated amplifier
- radio tuner
- turntable with cartridge
- speakers
Separate components have always been the way to go for the audiophile.
*** Always a great idea to get other people vested in a deal that you want. The more energy they expend, the more likely than not they hanker to see the deal happen.
Create and Negotiate
The next step was my most creative and unusual proposal: I talked to my parents and older brother about getting their own new stereo systems. My parents were still using one of those old 1960’s all-in-one giant gargantuan cabinet audio systems and it was monophonic, to boot.
My family members agreed and I was ready for the next step: Go back to the salesperson to discuss my deal, which looked something like this:
- The store would sell me the system I wanted at their cost, making it within my budget.
- In exchange for this consideration, the store would sell my family two additional stereo systems at their usual discounted price.
My proposal was accepted. This was a no-brainier/win-win deal for everyone! 😎
In hindsight, I should have first approached the store manager – a key decision maker. But in the case of my stereo deal, it did not matter.
Exploit the Loopholes
Here’s another technique useful in navigating life: Exploiting a loophole, the system gets embarrassed and caves in, and YES, you win!
For example:
I never liked school. I should have been a monk like Kwai Chang Caine under the tutelage of a Shaolin Kung Fu Master. Well anyway, when I was a senior in high school I especially loathed gym class.
My school had a policy that if you cut a class, your parents were supposed to be notified three times in writing. Then you were automatically dropped from the class.
I decided to check for a crevice in the system and started cutting class. Lo and behold like a divine gift from the gods of Elysium, I found a loophole: After my three absences, no notifications were sent to my parents.
So I stopped attending gym class and walked away with ammunition in my back pocket if and when someone noticed the flaw in their system.
The day or so before the last day of school and somehow I was about to graduate, like a scene from War Games I got called into the assistant principle’s office. I recall that the dude even looked like the assistant principle in War Games.
He then proceeded with a rather scolding tone, abundant with confidence. He informed me that I had not attended gym class for most of the year. He then asked me, what were we going to do?
I informed him that according to the rules, my parents were never notified of my absence from the class. Grumbling and now embarrassed, he told me to go to the gym office.
When I got to the gym office, they told me to hang out and answer the phone for a while. After a short time, perhaps 10-20 minutes or so, I was told that I could leave.
I won! I was allowed to graduate and did not have to schlep my butt through that nasty gym class after all.
Please think long and hard before trying anything like this yourself! Not for the faint at heart and quite the gamble!
Names Have Been Changed to Protect the Innocent…
My next adventure has to deal with everyone’s favorite pal, the Internal Revenue Service (IRS). I should note that I have nothing personal against the employees of the agency – they have been quite helpful in the past.
Personally, us citizens could do without the agency altogether as there are alternatives such as a national sales tax. The IRS could devolve into purely tax collectors from retailers. As a side benefit, there would no longer be an underground economy with people working under the table.
Well anyway, this is what happened: There was once a business partnership that eventually dissolved. One partner wanted to negotiate the partnership tax return. No clue what this meant but it sounded fishy and no tax return was filed.
Turns out that this was a mistake. The IRS sent notice of a 1099 for some income. Tax advisor called the IRS and was told that a partnership return needed to be filed and a $500 penalty applied.
Fair enough. But one partner thought that the penalty would be equally shared. Along with filing the partnership tax return, half the penalty was remitted.
Maybe six months later, a bill arrived from the IRS asking for the missing portion of the penalty. I respectfully replied back that it was the former partner the IRS should be going after.
After getting the second notice or so, I asked my tax adviser why the IRS wasn’t going after the partner. He replied it was because he was not the partner who filed the return or the person of record. It felt like someone was looking for the easy way out at the agency.
Back and forth letters continued for maybe two years. Then a surprise was received in the mail: The IRS sent a check for 400 some-odd dollars!
They did tell me that the refund was taxable, but whatevah! Not only was the missing portion of the penalty dropped, but someone must have had a moment of hooman guilt and wanted to make amends.
The moral of this story: Even facing a large business or government agency, be persistent, respectful and craft a sympathetic narrative. Creative strategies have worked for me countless times in life and very seldom do I lose.
The technique used here was the persistent yet respectful noodge. And I am damn good at it! 😀
Final note on this chapter: I should not have to say this, but do not fabricate any information that you provide to anyone that you are trying to get a resolution to a problem from – especially a government agency. You could quickly turn an administrative or civil matter into something far worse: an expensive criminal matter.
A Non-Reply, Like Your Nice Doggy is Your Best Friend…
Being a contrarian has its advantages: many times I find that the opposite result most people hope for is better.
Case in point:
When something goes awry, like a billing dispute, the first thing one must do is memorialize the event in writing.*** Then hope for either a quick favorable resolution or if not, no reply at all. The non-reply is to be pocketed and used later.
*** First choice for memorializing is an email, letter or fax. Next best choice is create a log and jot down what was said during a phone call, the date/time and who you spoke with.
Later, you can contact the dweebs in question and let them know that you have not yet received a reply. This process will invariably help you to get a favorable resolution. Even if in the particular case is in a gray area, it’s a judgment call kind of situation and now you have some leverage in your favor.
I have used this technique countless times and most of the time it works, indeed.
The moral of the story: The lack of a reply creates sympathy and therefor leverage, which has its value in problem resolution and negotiations.
Intuition is Also Your Best Friend…
Before I delve into intuition let me stress something very important in life, especially dealing with legal matters: showing up and pushing back!
I had a creditor sue me and I wanted to dispute their claim. My attorney and I filed a response and then we showed up at the first hearing. The creditor did not bother to show up, so the judge dismissed their claim against me. Sometimes, showing up and pushing back just a little bit is all it takes to win.
I had another creditor sue me. Once again I planned on filing a response. In the middle of our preparation to respond, I received a letter in the mail from some clowns claiming to be mediators that heard about my case from public records.
My famous Claude intuition kicked in. I’ve trained myself to listen and heed the guidance. I thought to myself, yeah right, mediator my ass! This ‘mediator’ was probably the same people suing me, or worked hand in hand with the creditor and their lawsuit mill that was trying to strong-arm me into a settlement. Idiots.
So I instructed my attorney via the discovery process to ask for all phone logs, emails, faxes and notes between the plaintiff and the mediators.
Shining a bright light on these cockroaches exposed them and a couple few days later they dropped the lawsuit. My intuition had guided me to the win!
The Shy Negotiator
Thanks to modern technology even the shyest among us can negotiate some great deals.
I’ve been using email to negotiate for many years now. The advantage to me (who believe it or not is quite shy) is that I turn into a virtual super hero. I am a star at emailing rather than negotiating in person or on the phone.
I also use another technique. No one likes to purchase a car. The sales people smile at you, all along carrying a dagger behind their backs. As a shy introvert, I found these confrontations very uncomfortable.
One silver lining to the cooties pandemic is that car buying has turned largely electronic. What I would do now is approach the general manager (GM) via email.
The pitch I would make is: “I would like to buy a car from your dealership, but prefer to deal only with the general manager.” I’ve cut out the useless non-decision maker sales android. Then I say that the negotiation can happen via email.
Furthermore, I’d work out all the numbers beginning with the new car price. The GM will probably give you a competitive price, but you do need to research this first. I’ve found at this point in the negotiation that I can get them to throw in an accessory, like mud guards without affecting the price.
You also need to make sure you understand any paperwork fees. I’ve found that if they are too high, that the GM won’t change the fee, but may discount the car further. That is, after you point out that one of their competitors charges a lower paperwork fee.
So now you have the deal on the new car. Next step is your trade and this is where you will get burned every time. The GM will offer you wholesale on your trade, even if they won’t send the car out for auction but will sell it at their dealership.
Key information you need to know: What is your trade is selling for at retail or dealership price? For example, a trade that wholesales at $18,000 may have a $20,000 dealership price. My BATNA would be $19,000, splitting the difference.
You will get lots of song and dance from the GM. But if you stick to your guns you will get the deal.
Like the Incredible Hulk: Creativity Run Amok…
This anecdote is only related to the subject of this blog on the periphery. But I thought that I would include it as it shows the risks of creativity in life running amok.
When I was a teenager I used to play tennis on the town run tennis court. They required a badge that was purchased from the town hall.
There was this by-the-book asshole who would check on the tennis courts to make sure that we had our badges. At first he was not too aggressive and wanted us to go buy the badges. But we did not want any stinkin’ badges.
So what did I dream up? We bought one badge then proceeded to make a giant badge out of poster board.
We proceeded to bring the small and giant badges to the court and started playing. The badge man showed up, and we then showed him the giant badge.
Badge man got totally pissed off and started chasing after us! This was funny as hell, albeit don’t try this at home – unintended consequences and all…
Admit When You Are Wrong
This happened yesterday: There was an inexpensive item on Ebay that I won in an auction. After I had paid for the item I noticed that I totally screwed up. Therefor it was time to fess up and beg for forgiveness.
Since this is an auction, I am legally bound to purchase the item. My only recourse is to ask the seller at their discretion to cancel the sale. So I emailed them this note:
This morning I received a nice reply that began: “I appreciate the level-headed request…” They then proceeded to say that they would cancel the sale. Me being truthful and nice had paid off.
“This call will be recorded…” is Actually a Benefit to Consumers
My family has an ongoing dispute with a big bank over a previous car lease.
To make a long story short, we feel we that we were handled miserably. A couple times over the phone I told some of the CSR supervisoirs that I was grateful that all calls are recorded.
I think part of the reason that companies record calls is to intimidate. But we can use their system to our advantage. I now have ironclad proof and leverage in my recent appeal to the company’s executive office.
This positive take no prisoners mindset is one reason I almost always win the minor skirmishes that make up modern living: Never* take no when yes is the only right answer.
*Yes, one has to balance this with choosing one’s battles. But once you’ve chosen… Related meme below…
As a totally non-related footnote, Dr. Pet Mom (Dr. Bessie DiDomenica) is facing a medical challenge and could use some support. If you enjoyed my blog, please consider tossing in some ducats into her PayPal Gift Jar. Thanks!
I appreciate you stopping by!
@SocialClaude
“Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.”
–Benjamin Franklin
